Future Puke

I don’t even think I ever had an audience on this ol thing, but there was a time when I was excitedly blogging about my stupid life, sharing links and being an active tumblrer. This is no longer the case. I tweet now. If you (my audience) are actually someone, and you want to continue silently following my life, feel free to look me up on twitter: @BoyMeatsWhirled
I may start using this thing again, who knows. For now, mothballs.

When you hear the phrase “mini piglet”, you probably picture something like this:

Ceeeee-ute! Well the good people at Greenridge Farms want you think of something else. Something a little more boneless, a little more featureless, a little more nightmarish. Kinda half piglet, half tumor. Behold, the ‘Greenridge Farm, Banguet [sic], Mini Piglet’:

You can find these things at costco or chasing you through your worst dreams. I guess you roast it like you would a suckling pig and serve it to your guests when you have blind people over for dinner. I don’t quite understand how it isn’t just Spam in the shape of a piglet/puppy. Does your knife effortlessly course through this thing like it would through a huge hot dog or did they somehow engineer it to have a degree of ‘toughness’ to it? Maybe a fake skin or strategically placed gristle or something. I can’t tell which would be worse.

Honestly, all grossness aside (which certainly isn’t to say this thing isn’t gross), I kinda really wanna try one of these little guys. I won’t be able to make it home for christmas this year and plan on celebrating with my buddy Tony, a fellow relocated Ohioan who also isn’t making the trek back to the buckeye state. Hopefully I can talk him into celebrating the birth of sweet little baby jesus by eating yuletide synthetic piglet with me.

(Source: thedailywh.at)